Dr Weird Compilation (Season Three)
by thebestkindofstupid
Summary: To celebrate my four-year anniversary on this site, I've decided to upload thirteen chapters... of utter nonsense. Happy April Fools Day, everybody.
1. Video Ouija

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Video Ouija"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

 **Author's Notes: April Fools, everybody!**

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold! I… have discovered life in this meteor." The shutter opened and revealed a green meteor with two tentacles and a single eye. You might recognize it from _The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy_. He then said in his normal speaking voice, "I would let it sing, but that would require me turning off my theme song, and uhh, that ain't happening…"

"Wow," Steve said surprised. "Hey, uhh, that alien's not going to suck my brain out, is it?"

Dr. Weird looked at Steve for a moment. "Yes," he answered happily. The meteor then used one of its tentacles to suck Steve's brain out and absorb it into its body.

"Should I be dying now?" Steve asked.

"You tell me," Dr. Weird said. He then yanked his brain out of the back of his head then fell over on the flood, having died from losing his brain. The brain, however, stayed in the air. The meteor tried to absorb this brain too, but then it yelled, "Don't even think about it!" It then fired a beam of mustard at the monster, causing it to explode leaving a burst of flames all over the room.

Still on fire, Steve then said, "Well, that's just great. This outfit is dry clean only."

 **Author's Notes: …**

…

 **I'm sorry.**


	2. Unremarkable Voyage

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Unremarkable Voyage"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold!" The shutter then opened revealing a table with corn on it. "Even more corn."

Steve then said, "This again?"

Dr. Weird then yelled, "This time… shall be exactly the same! Bwahahaha!"

Steve stood still and then said, "Eeyuh, I'm not falling for your reverse psychology."

The corn then started levitating and flew into Steve, thus pinning him to the wall.

Dr. Weird exclaimed, "This time I didn't lie to you, did I, Steve? Ahahahahaha!"


	3. Remooned

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Remooned"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold the new star of my television network!" Dr. Weird exclaimed as the shutter opened.

"I think that's a regular sponge," said Steve.

Dr. Weird looked at the sponge on the table and said, "BETRAYED AGAIN!"


	4. Gee Whiz

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Gee Whiz"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold! I have discovered this deadly disease!" Dr. Weird then showed off some blue liquid in a test tube held up by some sort of wire connected to the floor. "I call it: Puberty! Ahahahaha!"

Steve looked at Dr. Weird and said, "I think you've been watching too much _Kids Next Door_ …"

Dr. Weird stared at Steve for a minute. Steve's head suddenly burst into cow's milk.

"Yes, I have," said Dr. Weird.


	5. eDork

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"eDork"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold!" Dr. Weird exclaimed while presenting a wooden board with a face drawn in crayon as well as an orange sports car. "I have sealed the stream of consciousness from this wooden board… into this 2005 Chevroford Tahsonic EscaUltima!" He then turned around to face Steve and said in a calm voice, "We were going to seal his personality into a toy truck, but there wasn't enough free space, but uhh… you know." Dr. Weird took a second look at Steve, lying dead on the floor after having his personality sealed inside a burrito. "Heh, of course you know," Dr. Weird said in a more energetic yet melancholy voice, "We did it to ya."

"Maybe I should get a new lab assistant, and burn the body, so Steve can ascend into heaven. I said it, so it's canon," Dr. Weird said. "But where to find a lab assistant?"

"Perhaps we could be of assistance," Eddy said.

Dr. Weird stared at the three boys named Ed, and he said, "WHO THE [long sustained beep] ARE YOU?!"

"The Ed boys," said Eddy.

That idiot Ed then said, "We're one of the most successful series on the network."

Dr. Weird said, "Okay, then, you start on Monday, and your pay is twelve dollars an hour."

Eddy said, "Woah! Twelve dollars in a day?!"

Dr. Weird then said, "You want to make it fifteen?"

Eddy paused. "Yes."

Dr. Weird exclaimed, "What the––?! Just for that, I'm making it twenty and not a penny less!"

"Sir," Double D Ed-boy said, "Don't most employers want to pay their employees less money instead of more."

"Clearly you understand nothing about capitalism," Dr. Weird said.

"Yeah, communist swine," Ed said to Double D. Double D just rolled his eyes.


	6. Little Brittle

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Little Brittle"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold my beautiful fiancée who is totally not going to betray me this time!" said Dr. Weird in a deer's body as the shudder opened to reveal a hungry tiger.

"I think that's a savage tiger," Steve said.

Dr. Weird the Buck turned his head to face Steve and said, "That's a doe to you!" He then looked back at the tiger.

The tiger then bounced on him.

"Sh[bleep]!" Dr. Weird said off screen, "Oh, F[bleep]! Oh! I couldn't be in more pain!" Steve was horrified by what he saw.


	7. Robositter

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Robositter"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen! I have fused a toaster pastry to my head!" said Dr. Weird, having had part of the left side of his face replaced with a strawberry toaster pastry.

"Yeah, that's nice and all, but when do we get paid?" Eddy asked.

"I don't recall saying you [bleep] could open my private stash of wumpa fruit!"

"Woah! Woah," Eddy said, "I know we screwed up, but there's no reason to use a homophobic slur. Think of all the years of oppression."

"You know what?" said Dr. Weird, "I was insensitive, and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," said Double D, "I'm just glad you took it on board so easil––" He stopped talking for a moment. Double D then asked, "Is that a bomb set to blow."

The camera panned to the left revealing a bomb with seven seconds left on it. When it reached four seconds, Dr. Weird said, "Yeah, what about it?"

The device went off, and nothing was left but a series of flames where the laboratory once stood (represented by the Space Ghost Campfire).


	8. Moon Master

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Moon Master"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen, behold! The grand finale." The shudder then opened. "A one-dollar bill." It was actually a two-dollar bill, but who's counting?

Now with a bandage on his head, Eddy said, "Finally! Some cash."

"Shud dup and get in to duh room," Dr. Weird said in a robotic voice.

"Hey, guys," said Meatwad rolling his way on a desk, knocking all sorts of dangerous chemicals on the floor, "Should I be in this cold opening? I mean, I'm already in the show."

"Hey," Ed started speaking, "it's a talking meatball just like in––" a beaker then landed on Ed's feet. Ed then mutated into a thirty-foot gray monster. He then grabbed Dr. Weird and bit his head off. A rainbow then appeared out of Dr. Weird's neck.


	9. Diet

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Diet"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Sh––

"Rickroll!" Dr. Weird said appearing outside the laboratory.

Then he started dancing to the sound of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up."


	10. Dusty Gozongas

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Dusty Gozongas"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen," Dr. Weird exclaimed from behind a control panel, "Who stole my Super Munchy Potato Chips?!"

"I think it was that guy," Steve said, looking at the giant purple fluffy 2D-animated Muppet-looking potato chip monster.

Dr. Weird looked at the monster in annoyance. He then used his wrist to fire a beam of tacos at Steve, causing both Steve and himself to explode.


	11. T-Shirt of the Living Dead

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"T-Shirt of the Living Dead"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

"Gentlemen," said Dr. Weird wearing a black and red dual disc with six cards in his hand, "I lay Squirtle in Defense mode."

Attack points: 750

Defense points: 900

"All right then," said Steve, "Pikachu, use thunderbolt and destroy Squirtle."

Charmander

Attack points: 1100

Defense points: 400

Pikachu

Attack points: 1000

Defense points: 800

"Not so fast. You've activated my trap card. Super Munchy Potato Chips." Dr. Weird then stopped and looked at Steve annoyed. "What the [bleep] are we doing with our lives?!"


	12. Hypno-Germ

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Hypno-Germ"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dr. Weird's Laboratory

South Jersey Shore

A giant Godzilla-esque monster bursts out of the laboratory, but Dr. Weird and Steve escape using the bridge in front. "Run, F[bleep]face, run!" Dr. Weird exclaimed.


	13. Carl

Dr. Weird Compilation (Season 3)

"Carl"

By thebestkindofstupid A.K.A. Reginald Konga

Dateline:

Dino's Tavern

Northwestern New Jersey

"Bartender, hit me with another Kelpsi," said Dr. Weird laying down at the bar.

"Okay, first of all," the bartender said, "these are Shamrock shakes. I don't know what they're doing outside of a McDonald's or why the writer's thinking of Shamrock Shakes on St. Patrick's Day, but they're here. Secondly, if those were Kelpsi products, I'd say you've had enough. That'd be too much for any human to stand."

"Do you think I've had enough?!" Dr. Weird exclaimed grabbing the bartender. He let him go and said, "I lost everything in the fire. My laboratory. My lab assistant. My fiancée. My––"

"Couldn't you just use your manipulation over reality to erase the continuity like you always do?" the Bartender asked.

"Oh," Dr. Weird said, "Right."

Dr. Weird then imploded.

The bartender then said, "Well, there goes this week's income."


End file.
